i don’t want to freak anybody out, but you’re gonna want to get this…

. I have just gotten up from my bed to write this: I don’t want to freak anybody out, I don’t want to offend, I don’t want to seem overly dramatic and garrulous,  but this must be said. this must be written. this must be posted this week. and sent out on the www, where it will remain. read or not. accepted or not. until the Lord Jesus comes.

. birth only comes from a rupturing of the membranes, so that the waters of life can pour forth, bringing new life with them. no rupturing of the membranes. no birth.

. the heart and lungs of the Lord Jesus ruptured while He hung there. on the cross. making intercession for the transgressors. for us. His soul was made an offering. His soul ruptured and was poured out even unto death. He loved not His Life even unto death. soul travail. blood and water. not water only. but blood and water.

. He was bruised. it pleased the Lord to bruise Him. He was put to grief. He was numbered among the transgressors. He had no form nor comeliness. He had no beauty that we should desire Him. He was despised. He was rejected of men. a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief. we hid our faces from Him. we esteemed Him not. He bore our sins. He carried our sorrows. we did esteem Him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. wounded. bruised. chastised. oppressed. afflicted. He opened not His mouth! He opened not His mouth! He opened not His mouth! it cost Him His Life. and He opened not His mouth.

. we were born right there, the ekklesia was born and forgiven and healed right there where that was going on. the payment for our peace. our perfect peace, was made right there where that price was paid. from that blood and water. not water only. but blood and water. He knew exactly what He was sent here for. He knew exactly what was required of Him. He knew exactly what it would cost Him. that is why He sweated great drops of blood in Gethsemane. that is why He asked the Father: Father, if it be Thy will, let this cup pass from me… but if not….nevertheless…not my will…but thy will be done…

. has true Holy Ghost-led, Holy Ghost directed, Holy Ghost infused intercession changed??? has it become socially acceptable? what will they think and say about me? has it become unoffensive? (is that a word?) nonradical? (is that a word?) pretty? poetic? not too drastic, not too ugly? not too time consuming? not too valley of death? if I have time, between this and that? God, You know that I have to have this much money, and I have to have this much social interaction, and I have to have this much sleep in order to function, and my house has to look just so? God, you know that I have to go here and there. and I have to do this and that? I can go this far, God, this far socially, this far mentally, this far emotionally, this far financially, this far with my body, this far with my family…but certainly no farther God…surely you wouldn’t ask me to…surely not God….?

. my youngest son has always said: “everybody has a line that is drawn, below which they will not go.” the bar has just been lowered today. for all that will follow on in birthing intercession. to get this last day job done.

. I know all the arguments. I know all the reasons. I know all the “but God!”s. I know all the grief and the shock and the inability to bear what He asks of His intercessors. I know. I’ve said it all and tried it all. I’ve mixed  grieving with being a priest, until I got in so much trouble with God, that I feared for my life. (you cannot grieve and function as a priest. God will not allow it.) I’ve loved my life all my life. I’ve opened my mouth. I’ve opened my mouth. I’ve opened my mouth. I’ve despised the suffering and the shame. I’ve cried: but God! but God! but God! I’ve cried and struggled against the birthpangs all of my life, even up untill yesterday. still resisting the pain. still resisting the financial, physical, and emotional suffering and loss. the loss of all things. still opening my mouth. still pretending that I’m not who I am. still trying to hide who I am from those who wouldn’t understand and despise me for it. I have lived in soul travail all of my life. from three years old. my soul has been ruptured more times than I could say. intercessors have prayed for me  to get me through these times of travail until their own lives were endangered. I fought it every step of the way until I can no longer fight it. I repent. I understand now. this has and will cost me my life. I’ve come a long way and I’ve got a long way to go.

. those of us that are called and chosen before the foundation as His intercessors, those of us that are called and chosen before the foundation to follow in the footsteps of the Lord Jesus, must understand now. whether we are called to lay down our lives in the natural as martyrs, or whether we are called to lay down our lives in prayer, worship, and intercession, it will still cost us our lives. period. no getting around it. we don’t advertise it. we don’t go around bragging about it. (it is nothing to brag about!!!) we keep it to ourselves. but it will still cost us our lives. my favorite author, writing about the sons of Zadok, said: “all it will cost them is their life.”

. the soul must be ruptured, breached, broken. the soul must be poured out in whatever way He has chosen for us. our soul must be made an offering. this is a dangerous place! we must be mature enough to discern when the enemy of our soul is coming against us! (if that is the case, then we fight!) and when soul travail has come. so the waters of Life will pour out. bringing the Word. bringing the rain. bringing revival. bringing birth. bringing the manifestation, the revealing of the sons of God. bringing the overcomers. bringing the kingdom of God, the will of God to the earth, just like it is in heaven.

. we have run out of time. the end of the age is upon us. rome is radical. the pope is radical. obama is radical. the kings of the earth are radical. isis is radical. the news media is radical. all the church leaders that are 33rd degree masons are radical. golden calf worshippers are radical. sexual sinners are radical. politicians are radical. everybody that wants their own way is radical.

. the word radical is bantered about in “religious” circles until it must be a stench in the nostrils of God. we all want to be radical for God, all the while refusing suffering. refusing soul travail. refusing to allow our lives to go below a certain charismatic, predetermined level. we all want to be radical for God, all the while loving our lives. this endtime birth from Revelation 12 cannot, will not, come that way.

. we must choose this day who we will serve. who we will worship. who we will obey. How long will we halt between two opinions? if the Lord be God, follow Him: but if Baal , then follow him.

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